TENTACLE

It looks and feels like a wiggly tentacle, something from the unfathomable depths squiggling down yourunfathomable depths to grasp at your heart.   Featuring nubby bumps along one side, like the grippers of an octopus,  you can target the prostate for extra stimulation, or reverse the toy and let the smooth side slip gently alongside your G-spot.

The actual model for this toy comes not from the sea, but from the swamp, and doesn't wiggle, squiggle, or grasp.  It's molded from a "cypress knee," the peculiar protrusion of a cypress tree's root system which pokes up from the swampy ground near  the  the tree's trunk. Fairly common in the soggy reclaimed swamp lands of the southern USA, they come in all shapes and sizes. Growing up, I remember occasionally lusting after some handsomely proportioned specimen, but only now have I finally been able to realize my fantasy.

I don't know which is weirder: a monstrous sea creature's arm or the knee of a towering swamp tree. Either way, it's one crazy conquest!